Floaters
Friday June 27, 2008 | 0 comments
I am not a big fan of traffic in general, but I especially don’t like floaters. This is my loving term for those people who drift from lane to late to lane. Not only is this extremely dangerous, it’s also really annoying. Now, if I could read minds, it wouldn’t be a problem, but I can’t. I do not read minds, people, so please don’t float!
Just this morning, on my way to work, I had an encounter with a floater. He was to the right of me, floating happily across several lanes of traffic. When he finally was right next to me, I had this uneasy feeling that he wanted to float into my lane, in front of me. But like I said before, I do not read minds and he definitely did not use his signal, so on I went.
Five seconds later, he floated in behind me. We stopped at the next red light and I decided to look in my rearview mirror at my floater. Big mistake. And I mean, BIG mistake. The guy started flailing his arms, screaming, turning red in the face, you know, the works. He wasn’t a small man either. At least three chins, shaved head, and he looked like he spent his best years working as a bouncer at a fancy club in a big city. Vicious. Scary.
The only problem with his outburst—my usual reaction to stressful situations such as this is laughter. I know, not the most appropriate, but the more scared I am, the more likely I am to burst out with laughter. It took everything in me not to laugh at this man behind me and I must say I was quite scared. I really didn’t want him to follow me or do anything stupid.
The light finally turned green and, thankfully, the floater had to turn right within the next block, so the rest of my commute went peachy. Lesson for the day? Do NOT float in traffic. If you do decide to go ahead and indulge yourself in some floating, don’t throw temper tantrums, people might laugh at you.
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