She is Referred

So, you remember all the drama with my never-ending bacterial infections? Well, there is an unfortunate update to this whole situation, but let me start from the beginning.

After I met with my urologist, I went on a diet and a month-long antibiotic. I also started taking probiotics on a regular basis. Everything seemed fine, at least for a little while. Then, two weeks into it, I started having old symptoms again and believe me, you don’t want to know about those.

To be honest, I stayed in denial for about a week. Deep down I knew I had the start of another infection, but I really didn’t want to believe it. After all, I was taking antibiotics. I couldn’t admit to myself that, yet again, another treatment has failed miserably and I am left at square one after almost four months of endless rounds of antibiotics, multiple sonograms, a cystoscopy and a chorus of doctors singing, “this is so very, very common in women your age,” into my ears.

I don’t believe that this is so very common. I think it happens to a lot of women, but I believe that my case is more stubborn and complicated than most. My question throughout this last episode was, “Can you get an infection while taking antibiotics?” And, apparently, you most certainly can.

After having pain for about a week I finally decided to make an appointment with my urologist. We had a great chat and she sounded confident that, even if it is another infection, we will be able to get it under control. I told her, point blank, that I need her to give me some hope; that I need her to tell me it is possible to get rid of these infections and bacteria; that I need to know I will be able to function like a normal human being soon, like I did before baby.

She told me it is possible to eradicate GBS (which is the bacteria that is trying to kill me at the moment). She sounded confident, like it would be a manageable task. I walked away relieved. I felt thankful for a doctor who knew what she was doing and was willing to stick it out with me. I felt good. Really good.

Imagine my surprise when I get a call a few days later saying that, yes, indeed, I do have another infection and my urologist is referring me to another doctor. What? Referring? Last time we talked she mentioned no referral of any kind. I felt like my doctor was cheating on me.

It gets better though, as it always does. As I am talking to the nurse, she gives me the name of the doctor I am now supposed to see. She says, “Now, I don’t remember if he is an internist or not, let me make sure.” She puts me on hold and then comes back to tell me that Dr. So-And-So is, in fact…get ready people…An Infectious Deceased Doctor.

I cannot begin to tell you how I felt in that very moment as those words — Infectious Decease Doctor — sank into my brain. I felt sick to my stomach. I actually felt like my guts were going to fall out. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Like I was drowning in those words.

I kept myself together long enough to get this new doctor’s phone number, address, the usual. And then I hang up the phone and cried. I wanted to really scream and let it all out, but I couldn’t because I didn’t want to scare Hudson.

I don’t mean to be overly dramatic here, I’m just telling it like it is. I feel frustrated at this point that this bacteria hasn’t been killed by the eight or so rounds of antibiotics. I feel scared because I am not sure what can kill this thing. I also still cannot believe that I have to see an Infectious Decease Doctor, I mean, really?

Apparently, these doctors are in high demand around these parts, so I can’t get in until the end of this month. I am currently taking a different and very strong antibiotic to kill off this present infection and then I will be in limbo for three weeks. I am not sure what to expect from this new doctor (just to be clear, I am NOT contagious), but I certainly hope he can figure out how to kill this thing once and for all. But for now, we wait.