Toothache

*WARNING: This post is brought to you by a brain that has possibly been infected by a dying tooth, a.k.a. the alien creature that resides in my mouth and stinks like a garbage truck.*

I thought I knew what pain was. Having gone through migraines, pregnancy, and childbirth I was pretty sure pain and I were very well acquainted. Apparently, I was very, very wrong. For over one week now (seven days, twelve hours, and thirteen minutes) I have had a toothache that pretty much tops all other pain I’ve ever experienced. And I do mean ALL. Childbirth included.

At this point I really don’t care if this last statement offends anyone. I think the infection is now in my brain and is controlling my thought process. What started out as a very simple procedure – prep for a crown – has now turned into four office visits in five days. Two of those visits involved some very major work.

And before I say anything else, let me say this: my tooth has not bothered me in about ten years. I knew it had some issues and needed a crown, but I thought it was more of an eventual thing, not urgent. So, the tooth that has not bothered me in ten years has now caused the whole right side of my head and neck to burn in pain. Radiating, pulsating, wake-you-up-in-the-middle-of-the-night and kick-you-in-the-guts-until-you-puke kind of pain.

It’s fair to say that I have never known a toothache like is. Ever. And trust me, I have gone to the dentist pretty much since I got my first teeth. I’ve gone from a procedure to prepare my tooth for a crown, to begging my dentist to do a root canal. Begging. For a root canal. He said he knew I was in pain because no rational human being whose brain has not been taken over by their tooth infection would ever choose or beg for a root canal.

I was literally giddy when my doctor informed me that he took out the nerve and was cleaning out the pulp out of my root canals. And if you know nothing about what a root canal cleaning/filling is, you are a lucky bas****. You should do everything you can to keep it that way.

After the procedure (which, by the way, involved a mini torch with real FIRE! that melted the opening to my root canals shut) I was hopeful and optimistic. I thought I would finally get some sleep at night. So, imagine my surprise when I woke up at three-something am and couldn’t go back to sleep because I still had PAIN! LOTS OF PAIN! PAIN! PAIN! PAIN!

Understandably, yours truly was the first patient in the dental office this morning. I am now taking antibiotics and really hoping this will help because a) I am not sure how much more of this kind of pain I can take, b) I am afraid to even think about what else needs to be done to fix this, c) I’ve just about exhausted the limit on how much my insurance will pay this year, d) I am really tired of going to the dentist every day of the week, and d) all of the above.